A bittersweet goodbye to the Job Centre!

So yesterday I had my sign-off meeting with my employment advisor at the Job Centre (as I mentioned in my last post….in case you missed it…I AM BACK IN WORK, on a temporary contract but still, it’s a start).

I sat in the waiting area with two lovely gentlemen…one who hadn’t worked in 16 years and smelled as though he hadn’t washed in that time either, and one who says he had just arrived from the pub (he smelled like a brewery and was swigging from a cheap can of cider). Both were wearing very dishevelled looking tracksuits, caps (back to front for some reason…is that cool nowadays?) and blank expressions (one of them was missing a shoe and half a sock), neither wanted to work, neither wanted to look for work…and to be honest, I think employers would have looked at the two of them and classified them both as “disaster areas”.

They clearly needed more help than was being provided by the Job Centre (the help they needed probably fell out of the remits of what was provided by the centre).

“So, how has it been going?” They were both asked by their respective advisors.

“Found nothing” (pronounce as “fund nuffin’”) they both responded.

“How’s it going?” my advisor asked me.

“I’ve just accepted a temporary role in HR on a 3-mth contract” I uttered.

Silence.

It felt like the whole room went silent!

Could it even be that the sozzled gent I’d been sat next to managed to spit his beer on the floor?!

“You’ve found work?!” my advisor stuttered.

“I have…temporarily. I’m hoping to make it a permanent role” I said.

“So we may see you back in 3-mth” he said (with a tiny smile).

“Maybe….but I hope not” I smirked and signed-off the “found employment” form.

Loki-Lou

PS – todays song of the day is:

Dolly Parton – Working 9 to 5 (just because!).

Recruiter stupidity

So I’ve spent time everyday (since I’ve been back from York) job hunting and adjusting my CVs/covering letters to fit the numerous person/job specifications. Once again I am determined to find a job….and once again I am finding it incredibly difficult not to become disheartened by the whole sorry process.

The rejections are in the same sterile format….even down to the “dear candidate” part, I am fully aware that it must be hellish going through all those applications, but it couldn’t hurt to actually find out the name of the person you are turning down for a job and use that instead of sending a pure blanket email.

Feedback is non-existant….aside from “unsuitable”. That helps doesn’t it? Knowing you are “unsuitable” for a job, but not knowing in which way you are “unsuitable”.

But what takes the biscuit is the conversation I had today with a recruiter who said (word for word) “So you’ve been unemployed since July? And you’ve done what since? Because employers won’t be interested in someone who has been unemployed for so long”.

Excuse me?

Excuse me?!

My ears must have deceived me surely? How many people who are out of work at the moment have been searching for a minimum of six months? How many of us are desperate for employment and just get fobbed off with comments such as that?

So what have I done since I lost my job in July? Well……I moved my whole life back up to Lancashire from London, I’ve applied for over 200 jobs, signed up with various (incredibly useless) recruitment agencies, attended interviews, dealt with an emotional shit storm and the fall out from that, argued with the Job Centre for my basic right to benefits, put up with inane waffling from crappy “get back to work” courses that the government think I need (which are in actuality just common sense)…..I’d say it’s not through lack of trying that I’m still unemployed!

That said – if employers really aren’t interested in people who have been out of work for a while then so many of the unemployed are screwed are we not? We should just give up shouldn’t we?

Then the government can call us spongers and threaten us with benefit cuts? And our peers can look down their noses at us?

Brilliant….just brilliant.

It’s a good job I took what she said with a pinch of salt.

Loki-Lou

PS  – today’s song of the day is:

Kelis – I hate you so much right now (Mostly because I kept wanting to sing the chorus to the recruiter earlier…can you blame me?).

 

Low Risk foolishness

So on Friday I was back at the Job Centre (yay I hear you cry…..rather sarcastically I hope!)…that morning I had been to see (yet another) recruiter about a job (read: a job prospect that would go no where so the meeting was merely an opportunity for them to get my name on their books), who was over twenty-five minutes late….said meeting ended with me waiting twenty minutes in the pissing down rain waiting for a bus (as the Loki-motion is seeing the car doctor)…said bus arrived when my nipples had already decided they wanted to become part of my chest cavity and my toes had long since disappeared to the pub (or at least I thought they had, it was impossible to tell as all I knew was that I couldn’t feel them anymore!).

Needless to say I was not a happy bunny! I’m tired of being messed around by recruiters and companies, and tired of being fobbed off by the Job Centre. On Friday I had a particular whinge to vent….and with Mother Nature giving my ovaries their monthly kicking I was rather in the mood for an arguement.

Advisor: “So you’ve had interviews recently?”

Me: “Yep, I’ve had over five interviews in the past two weeks or so”.

Advisor: “Well that’s good isn’t it?”

Me: “You tell me – most of the positions were given to internal candidates, or the company never called me with the outcome, or the receptionist was a complete bitch on the phone over the fact that they couldn’t even give me directions….that same company by the way had interviewed the previous day and didn’t bother to contact me to tell me this shit until I showed up in Manchester ready to attend!”

Advisor: O_o

Me: “ALSO – if I’m doing so great I wouldn’t once again be sat across from you signing a piece of paper to request benefits from the government…..don’t you agree?”

Advisor: “Well….you’re definitely trying to find work”.

Me: “Oh, while I’m on about attending interviews…you do realise that when I have five interviews in Manchester in the same week on different days that the cost of travel from where I live is approximately £60….”

Advisor: “Right….?”

Me: “I’m currently getting £71 a week from you…so that’d leave me with £11 a week to go towards rent and food would it not?”

Advisor: “Well…I….erm…”

Me: “Because my family do expect rent from me….but under your rules because I live at home I’m only entitled to job seekers allowance, nothing more. So, if I end up with a busy week like that I can’t attend all the interviews and pay my rent”.

Advisor: “But you live at home…And you have to attend the interviews otherwise you’re in breach of contract”.

Me: “Yes, yes I do. But my parents can’t be expected to be financially supporting me when I’m 27 years old, they do expect some help with the bills from me. So, I was wondering if you had any way for people to claim back travel expenses?”

Advisor: “Only if you’re a high risk claimant”.

Me: O_o “Whut?”

Advisor: “We’re allowed to give high risk claimants travel expenses…”

Me: *eyes start twitching* “don’t tell me…because I’m a low risk claimant I’m not entitled to it?”

Advisor: “That’s right yes”.

Me: “Ok….let me get this straight….because I’m actually attending interviews and applying for work I’m not entitled to travel expenses?”

Advisor: “Yes, because you’re low risk”.

Me: “And I’m expected to live on £11 a week or less if I have a week of interviews in Manchester or places of a similar distance?”

Advisor: “Well….yes”.

Me: “You know how backwards that sounds right? …so, you either help me with my travel expenses to attend interviews – or I stop applying for work and find my way onto your list of high risk claimants just so you can do your damned job correctly!”

Advisor: “You wouldn’t….you want to work! You’re one of the most determined job seekers here”.

Me: “As flattering as that is….being a low risk claimant means I get minimal help, and being a job seeker is depressing enough without being overlooked in favour of people who don’t want to work”.

Advisor: “But….it’s policy”

Me: “Uh-huh…..the choice is yours and believe me when I say I’m disillusioned enough with this country not to bother with your shitty processes to get the help I deserve!”

Turns out if I give them enough notice of my next Manchester interview that I can claim travel expenses…so fellow job seekers, dig in your heels! If you are actively looking for work, if you are attending interviews, if the expenses are costing you a fortune (to the extent you have barely anything left for food/bills/etc) then argue the toss with the Job Centre!

Just because you are a low risk claimant does not mean you shouldn’t be entitled to the same help as the high risk ones….after all, isn’t the point of the job seeker system to aid actual job seekers in their quest for employment? Rather than to mollycoddle those who clearly don’t want into the working world!

Loki-Lou

PS – Your eye candy from the Advent Calendar for December 16th comes to you from my fellow Lancastrian Alison’s other half:

kate winslet

(I don’t think this is the picture of Kate Winslet that you wanted Paul but hey….pretty sure the one you wanted would make this post NSFW! So you can have this one instead!)

Todays song of the day is:

The Darkness – I believe in a thing called love (try not to giggle at the video…I fail everytime!)

NaBloPoMo December 2012

Job Centre Triage

**This situation happened during my last meeting at the Job Centre**

I sat across from my advisor, my job application tracker (done in an Excel spreadsheet as the little green books I keep getting given fill up too quickly) and a list of short courses that I was curious about attending were sitting on the table between us. My advisor looked a little bit flustered by the amount of paperwork I had provided, he always seemed flustered by it, his face beamed red as he eyed it, wondering where exactly to start.

I shuffled on the seat, my legs shaking nervously…for some reason the Job Centre makes me incredibly nervous, it reminds me of attending exams at school. As though you’re just waiting to be caught out by the examiner because you haven’t revised for the test and had spent the whole time playing Zelda.

Eventually he motioned to pick up the application list, he fanned his face with it first, muttered something incomprehensible and then started flittering back and forth between the pages. As I watched his movements with all the interest as you would give to the dissection of a new animal species I was reminded of something my friend had told about when he had been a job seeker.

“Did you used to send people to an interview on the day they came to see you? If they were suitable for jobs you found on your system?” I queried knowing that it was through one of these automatic interviews that my friend had acquired his job.

“We did…well, we do” my advisor murmured while reading through my spreadsheet list of applications (now in excess of 160 jobs!).

“You do?” I couldn’t hide the surprise (and confusion I dare say) in my voice.

“Yes, we do” he still didn’t look up from the spreadsheet…if anything he was glaring at the words more intently than before.

“Why haven’t you sent me for anything?” at this he did look at me…questioningly at first which appeared to dissolve into a pitying stare.

“Because you’re fine as is” he said, shrugging, as though this explained everything.

“Fine as is?” I pulled my ‘are you shitting me?’ face before adding “I’m still unemployed so surely I’m not fine as is? I’m still sitting around waiting to be hired while trying to survive on the meagre amount of benefit you allow me”.

“Trust me – you are fine as is, you don’t need sending for interviews” his tone sharp, snappy.

I quietly contemplated this for a moment as he returned to my paperwork, scrutinizing each item on the list as though he was breaking a top secret highly important code and I was acting as an inconvenience to his task.

“How do you decide if I’m ‘fine as is’ and that I don’t need you to set up interviews with companies?” I uttered at last, eagerly wanting to know the criteria behind these decisions.

“You apply for work….so you are not high risk….you are a low risk claimant…as such we don’t need to send you for interviews” he explained slowly, as though speaking to a child.

“And these interviews….are they for very basic jobs?” my interest piqued.

“Not always…it depends on the jobs available, sometimes we even send people for trainee manager positions, we have a list of jobs that we can allocate people to” he waved a hand at his computer monitor as though this would instantly bring up this fabled system of allocated vacancies.

“Are these jobs on your normal system? Can anyone apply for them?”

“No, we have to send you to them…that’s what I mean by ‘allocated’”.

My brain started ticking over faster and faster as it processed his words…and then froze with a stark realisation.

“So…you’re saying that I could be being overlooked for jobs, overlooked for automatic interviews, because I’m applying for work which makes me a low risk claimant?”

“Exactly! You don’t need the extra help” he laughed dismissively.

“So because I’m doing everything right…you’re penalising me?” I kept my voice neutral, not wishing to cause a scene as I could sense the anger bubbling under the surface.

“No, not at all. We just don’t think you need sending for these interviews…there are people out there who don’t apply for work and who need to be in work…these people are high risk so we send them for interviews…they need this extra help”

I baulked at his explanation…then let go of the words I was trying to restrain.

“You’re giving interviews to people who don’t want to even apply for work and not asking those who are actually looking? Do you know how backwards that sounds? Surely it makes more sense to send those who want to work to interviews? Especially those who have been out of work for months on end, while applying for hundreds of jobs, who are qualified and experienced enough to do a wide variety of jobs and those who are going stir crazy sitting at home while going through the motions of application forms day after day….you’re saying I don’t warrant the same courtesy given to those who don’t give a damn?”.

My advisor merely shrugged and shuffled the papers before stating very clearly “you are not high risk enough”.

I wish I was bullshitting you all, I really do….alas I’m not.

Loki-Lou

PS – today’s song of the day:

Linkin Park – Lost in the Echo (Who doesn’t love a bit of Chester Bennington’s voice?)

NaBloPoMo November 2012

It’s been a bad day!

Today has been one of those days where I should have just stayed in bed, cuddled under my duvet and dreaming beautiful dreams of Tobias Menzies. Today was a bad day….a very bad day! Alas, today was the day I promised to do my parents a favour and collect the vinyl leather they use for their business from the shop (as their vehicle is currently off the road and the Loki-Motion is mine) in Blackburn.

The weather was torrential, even having the windscreen wipers on full couldn’t give a clear view of the road. Signs of heavy downpour pooling were evident in parts as the traction faded, I know what it’s like to aquaplane a car so my anxiety levels were high as the Loki-Motion took to the M65. I dropped the speed to 60mph and stayed in the slow lane as cars skidded past me in the other two lanes.

I thought leaving the motorway would ease my anxiety somewhat…it didn’t. The car infront of me kept me on my toes by braking suddenly (multiple times) and the owner being generally indecisive about where she wanted to go. Heart was in my throat as we hit the first roundabout….and I held my breath as we left it for the Blackburn turning and headed towards the second roundabout. I was still behind the confused Skoda as everyone arranged themselves into their relevant lanes (we were in the right lane heading to Blackburn centre). The sporty Mercedes next to me (well, diagonally across from me) was turning left, the driver was indicating, she was checking her rear view mirror…when suddenly the Skoda driver decided she wanted the left lane and without indicating she braked quickly and darted infront of the sporty Mercedes, the owner of which tried to emergency stop (there really wasn’t alot of room) as I pre-emptively hit the brakes on the Loki-Motion. The sporty Mercedes aquaplaned and the driver struggled for control, in an attempt to miss the Skoda she swung right….directly into my path.

I think at this moment, as time started to slow down due to adrenaline rushing my system, I may have shat myself with panic! The Loki-Motion jolted to a stop, the sporty Mercedes jolted to a stop, the Skoda carried on oblivious. We were both visibly shaken, the other driver looked close to tears as she started the engine again (the emergency stop had stalled the car), I reversed the Loki-Motion slightly (as thankfully the drivers behind us had witnessed this unfolding and kept their distance) so she could move back into the left hand lane. Soon we were level facing the second roundabout, we both looked at each other and I mouthed “you ok?” at her, she nodded her head and moments later we went our separate ways.

It was only when I arrived at the Vinyl shop that I realised that the Loki-Motion had stopped with such a jolt that I wasn’t sure if the other Mercedes had made contact with the bonnet. I was still shaking with shock and was on the verge of tears over the prospect that my car could have been damaged not only because I adore my beautiful little motor but also financially I can’t afford to repair it (see the second half of this blogpost to understand more about my financial situation). I practically leapt from the drivers seat and frantically started examining the bonnet…begging the gods that everything was ok…I guess they heard me. The Loki-Motion didn’t even have a scratch. I nearly collapsed in a heap on the floor beside it.

As it happens my bad day was going to get worse…with the vinyl loaded up I (we) started heading home. We hit the main roundabout heading towards the motorway when a scruffy looking Punto shot infront of the Loki-Motion, with no indicator (AGAIN), I braked sharply (AGAIN – thank the gods for the amazing brake system in the Mercedes Benz), we were narrowly missed (AGAIN – if I hadn’t braked when I did the Loki-Motion would have been worse off than a mere scratch). The Punto lurched infront of the car in the lane to the left of me too causing them to skid onto the hard shoulder…the owners of the Punto were risking the lives of other people in rainy weather to go to a small shop off one of the roundabout  turnings.

A small light blinked at me from the dashboard (a hazard light) as the Loki-Motion set off again…not a light I ever had on any of my other cars. The rest of the journey home was made with me completely on edge, I was upset that the Loki-Motion may have internal damage this time! I parked up outside the house (without further incidents) and began checking over my little motor, blessing everything that it had been the Mercedes which I’d been driving when these near misses happened – my old Punto or Metro’s wouldn’t have stopped in time! The hazard light (according to the manual) is a warning to an impending accident (situations in which the car is being maneuvered in a way incompatible with the environment…in this case, emergency stopping in torrential rain!). Once I was sure that the car was ok I grabbed a calming cup of tea (with two sugars)…and then gave the Loki-Motion a dose of coolant!

I’m not sure how rational I would have been had my car been hit!

Today was also the day that the Job Centre called and explained that after reviewing my application for Jobseekers Allowance (which should be £71 a week), they’ve decided that I’m owed £15-£20 a week. So £80 a month. Their reason for this is that I’m currently living at home and so my “parents should be supporting me”…what…the…piss?! I’m not expecting my parents to financially support me, it’s laughable that such a thing is expected of them! What is also laughable is:

1. I’ve been paying tax since I left school over ten years ago – I think it’s utterly pathetic that the only time I ask the government for financial aid I end up with what I consider a fucking joke of an amount. As I’m getting a reduced allowance in order to support myself now, does it mean you’ll reduce my tax when I start working again? No? Well give me the amount I’m fucking owed!

2. Only one of my parents is actually getting a wage (my dad), my mum is starting up a business so all her cash is tied up with costings for that. We’re living off one wage! As I pointed out in the frigging application form!

3. £20 a week is a pittance when I owe rent and food money to help my folks…oh, and I guess whoever decided this hasn’t seen the price of dentist appointments let alone Tampons recently!

4. I actually know multiple people who have never worked, never gone on to further education (in most cases didn’t even bother to finish their GCSE’s) and never paid tax who get the same amount of cash in benefits as someone on a full time wage! They have their houses, rent, food, etc paid for by taxpayers when they themselves have never paid into the system – Excuse me if I think the system is severely flawed! Or (as I’ve been referring to it all day as) total and utter bollocks!

5. Leading on from #4 – just today I’ve had 5 rejection letters for jobs I’ve applied to, I apply to over 30 jobs per day…I spend hours and hours applying for jobs so I don’t have to ask for handouts. Explain to me please what the point of this is (aside from my own feelings of self worth) when I could merely sit on my arse and watch “Jeremy Kyle” until I become bog-eyed and start playing the system like many others seem to?

This situation makes me have less faith in those running our country than I had previously…there are so many in the same situation as me and we’re being completely overlooked by our government.

Loki-Lou

PS – did you guess today’s song? No?….oh well, my song of the day is:

REM – Bad Day (what can I say, after everything that’s happened today, it’s made me smile!)